January 18th, 2006.

Hawk wanted a picture of him and his daddy to hang on his refrigerator.

Hawk doesn't look like himself with all of the swelling, but his smile and laugh are still the same. It's good to have him laughing and happy again.

The other day, Hawk told me that his daddy was big and strong and I said "He is?" and Hawk said "Yes, because he can lift me over his head."

We all love this little boy very much. Children bring such joy to our lives. They are truly a gift from God.

This picture was taken last Wednesday the 18th, 2006.

Before Christmas, Tuesday asked Hawk what he wanted for Christmas. He told her he wanted sand and shovels. She asked him what else he wanted and he said just sand and shovels.

After Hawk was diagnosed with the tumor, Tuesday's Uncle Bill Green found out that Hawk wanted sand for Christmas, so he searched until he found a big green covered turtle sand box and filled it with sand. Tuesday's parents, Jimmy and Judy Roberts brought Hawk lots of shovels and sand buckets from Florida.They took them to Kevin and Tuesday's for Hawk. Hawk had been so sick, that he hadn't been able to go to Kevin and Tuesday's until last Wednesday. Since it snowed that morning, Hawk didn't go to his radiation treatment, so Jamie got him and took him to see Kevin, Tuesday, Breanna and Brooke. Skyla was at our house, so she didn't go. Anyway, Kevin, Tuesday and Jamie pulled that big sand box into the den downstairs and let Hawk and Breanna and Brooke play in it.
Hawk had so much fun that day.

They didn't think about getting sand in the carpet, they only thought about making a little boy happy for that day.

God bless you all.

This is a picture of Skyla and Hawk made in the Spring of 2005. He loves his little sister and she loves her big brother.

Before Hawk got sick, when he had energy and could play, Skyla would watch everything he would do. If he cried, she would cry and if he immediately started laughing, she would laugh. She calls him Bubba.

He's always tickling her and trying to get her to laugh. One day, before he got sick, they were at our house and he went downstairs and got some toys just for her to play with. One of the toys was too big for her and he took it back downstairs and got one just for her. He has always been so good to her.

We love watching them play together. Hawk has already started getting his personality back. Since his steroids have been cut back, he is laughing and being very happy again. Hopefully, when he is through with his radiation treatments, he'll get his energy back and we'll have our little Hawk back and he and Skyla can play together again.

I pray that God will heal Hawk so that he and Skyla and Breanna and Brooke can all grow up together. I know that God promises that he will not give us anything that we can't handle.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2 Cor 1:3-4 NIV.

This picture was taken a few days before Christmas. This is Hawk, his cousin, Breanna (5 yrs. old), his little sister, Skyla (16 mon. old, sitting in Pa Pa Mike's lap), and his cousin, Brooke (21 mon. old). They were sitting in the sunroom watching the Christmas train go around. Hawk loves trains.

He and Breanna are so close. The day that Hawk was released from the hospital and came to our house to spend the night, Breanna's mommy (Tuesday) had stopped by our house and Breanna left her favorite blanket (a spiderman blanket) for Hawk to have. In the days to come, when he was feeling so bad and only wanted to rest, he would get that spiderman blanket and lay on the couch and cover up with it. Also, he was at our house the weekend he was released from the hospital the second time. My sister, Wanda and her husband, Warren Parker were in from South Carolina to visit everyone and especially Hawk. The rest of our kids and their families came over to see them and to be with each other. When Breanna came in (she and Hawk had not seen each other in about 2 weeks), Hawk was lying on the couch. He raised up and said "Breanna, come here. I haven't seen you in a long time." They both hugged each other. It was so sweet. By this time he was very tired and didn't feel like playing. When Breanna got ready to leave, she hugged Hawk and told him that not only did she love him because he was her best friend, but he was her cousin also, so she loved him even more.

Update Thursday, January 12, 2006

Hawk's steroids have been reduced to 1/2 a tablet once a day in the morning. We have seen a huge difference in him. He is still tired but not as tired as he was. He is laughing a lot more. He is interacting with us more. He met his Pa Pa Mike at the door yesterday and today with a big smile on his face. This is the first time this has happened in a while. He sits up on the couch and watches his cartoons (Tom and Jerry; we tape all of the Tom and Jerry episodes now) and laughes at them. Before, he was just laying on the couch and didn't interact very much. He just looks and acts much more alert.

I just want to thank all of you for all of you prayers, e-mails, and concern for Hawk. We are so thankful to all you for helping us to bear this burden. We are praying and trusting in the Lord and keeping our joy and peace while we work very hard to help Hawk.

Hawk's parents (they are divorced, but work together for the good of the children), and us, the grandparents, have decided to seek alternative treatments for him, after he finishes his radiation and steroids (2 1/2 more weeks). According to his doctors, he will receive no more treatments after this. And they are not giving us very much hope for recovery. But we thoroughly believe that that is totally up to God. He and He only knows when our time will be.

Thank all of you again so much for all of your prayers, e-mails, emotional support and for bearing this burden with us. May God have the Glory. God Bless all of you.

"In Christ Jesus...the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." GALATIANS 5:6 NIV---Your love for the Lord and others is making an ETERNAL difference, and the many lives you've touched include OURS---

Take Care and God Bless,
Gwen and Mike

Update January 9, 2006

Hawk is in his 4th week of radiation. He has been on steroids since Dec. 14th. The steroids have caused him to have a huge appetite. He has gained a lot of weight or has fluid retention or both. I am posting a picture of him taken a few days before Christmas after a few radiation and steroid treatments and one taken last week after almost 3 weeks of radiation and steroids. He is very tired most of the time. He mainly just lies on the couch and watches cartoons.

The steroids make him very moody and irritable (this is not his fault, it is a side-effect of the steroids). Also we found out on Friday that the steroids cause him to have flu-like symptoms. A lot of the time, he just wants to be left alone. He complains of his stomach hurting quite a bit, but we give him tylenol and that seems to help. Everything about him has changed. He has gone from an energetic, very friendly, loving little boy to one who has no energy and a lot of the time just wants to be left alone. He has begun to lose some of his hair. We are praying that after the treatments, he will get some of his energy back.

We usually have him and Skyla on the weekends and Jamie stays with them here. Jamie has to work all week, so he likes to get them on the weekend and lately stays at our house with them.

He is a precious little boy and we love him so much.

Thank you all so much for all of your prayers and e-mails and cards.

May God bless each and everyone of you. If there is anything we can do for any of you, please let us know.

God Bless,
Gwen

For several weeks our family had noticed that Hawk was holding his head sideways while looking at anything. Then we started to notice that he was dragging his left foot while walking. He looked like someone who had had a stroke. His whole left side seemed to be affected.

On Monday, Dec. 12, 2005, I called Lindy and told her if she would get an appointment for Hawk that I would take him to his doctor, Dr. Steger. She got the appointment for Dec. 14th. I called Jamie and told him and he decided to go with me. Ken (his other grandpa) called and asked if he could go also. Ken took Hawk and Jamie and I met him at the doctors office. Dr. Steger watched Hawk walk and checked his eyes, he could not move his right eye to the right. She told us that he had probably either had a stroke or had a mass in the brain or on the spinal cord. She immediately called Vanderbilt Children's Hospital and we all drove down there together--Ken, Jamie, Hawk and I. Lindy had picked up Skyla and taken her to our house. In the meantime Hawk had had a CT scan. The resident came in and told Ken, Jamie and I that Hawk definitely had a large mass in his brain, and informed us that they would be doing an MRI the next morning.

Lindy and Mimi Barbara arrived. Pa Pa Mike stayed at home and kept Skyla. Everyone was in shock and very upset with the news we already had. Jamie and Lindy stayed with Hawk that night and the rest of us went home.


On DECEMBER 15TH, 2005, Nanna Gwen took Skyla to daycare and then went to the hospital. Pa Ken, Mimi Barbara, Jamie, and Lindy were there. We were waiting for the MRI to be done and what course of action would be taken. .

Dr Steger came in to see Hawk. She was very nice. She went around the room and hugged all of us. Jim Andrews came by to see Hawk. Hawk's great-grandmother, Cathy Waddle and her husband, Derald Waddle came in to see Hawk. Pa Pa Mike came after work, around 2:00 p.m. Hawks Aunt Tuesday and cousins Breanna and Brooke came in. This really cheered Hawk up. They had a huge bouquet of balloons and a big basket full of things for Hawk and Jamie and Lindy. There were a lot of tears shed that day, we didn't know exactly what was going on, but we knew that it was not good. Our preacher, Larry Locke and Frank Dudley came in to see Hawk. Pa Ken and Mimi Barbara had to leave to pick Skyla up from daycare. Everyone else left except for Mike, and I, Jamie, Lindy, Larry and Frank Dudley. We were still waiting for the results of the MRI. All during this day, they had been putting IV's in Hawk and taking vital signs and taking him for tests, etc. In between all of this, he always wanted to go to the first floor and see the train. Once, when one of the nurses came into the room, Hawk looked at her and said" Don't you come in here messing with me anymore." I guess he had had it with all of the IV's, test, etc. All of it was pretty traumatic for him.

Finally, Dr. Kuttesch came in and asked Jamie and Lindy to step into another room with him. I asked if I could go and they said that it was okay. Mike and Larry stayed in the room with Hawk. They played a board game (Candyland) with him.

Dr. Kuttesch sat there and quietly and calmly told us what the results were. He said that Hawk had a tumor in his brain stem. It is called Pontine Glioma. It is very rare and very malignant. Surgery could not be done because of where it was located, in the Pons area of the brain stem. This tumor does not respond very well to chemotherapy. The only treatment is radiation and steroids. He told us that 95% of the children do not live two years and that the other 5% live to two years. None of us expected to hear this kind of news.

Jamie went back into the room to be with Hawk. Lindy was having a hard time and felt like she needed to go outside for some fresh air for awhile.
I called Mike out into the hall. Larry and Frank Dudley came out there also. I told Mike what we had been told. Larry went into the quiet room with us and had a prayer with us.

I called Ken and Barbara to let them know what the news was. I called Tuesday and told her. She called Kevin, he was at work, I called Chris and Wanda, I called Hawk's great-grandparents and his great-aunts and uncles. There were a lot of tears shed that night and a lot of them since. Ken decided to come back to the hospital. Mike and I stayed until after dark, then we left. Mike had to work the next day. As we were leaving, we met our son, Chris and his wife Wanda coming in to see Hawk. Naturally, Jamie and Lindy were not leaving Hawk, so they stayed again that night.

DECEMBER 16th, 2005

That day they put the portacathe in Hawks's chest in order to administer the anesthesia. He was to be put asleep each time he was given a radiation treatment.

Hawk had told Mike that when he was released from the hospital that he wanted to come to our house to spend the night, it was very late by the time he was released. Lindy decided to spend the night at our house also to be with Hawk. And Jamie stayed also.

Sat. December 18th

We went to Kevin and Tuesday's house for our Christmas party together.
Mike and I, Kevin and Tuesday, Breanna, and Brooke, Jamie,Chris and Wanda and their grandbabies, Caleb, McKenzie, and Jenna. Jamie and Lindy decided that it might be too much for Hawk, so he and Skyla didn't go. A friend of Kevin and Tuesday's, Junior Nesbitt, came by and prayed with us. He said the most beautiful prayer for Hawk.

Monday December 19th
Hawk started his radiation treatments. He seemed to do well with the treatments. He had been on the steroids since Dec. 14. By the end of the week, we could see a big difference in him.

December 25, 2005

Skyla and Hawk had Christmas with the McPeaks on december 24, so Jamie got them early Christmas morning and came to our house. After only one week of treatments, the difference in Hawk was huge. Naturally, all of the family wanted to love on him and talk to him, but his mood had already started to change. He really felt bad. He cried a lot that day. He only wanted Mike or Jamie or I to hold him that day.
Mike always plays Santa Clause on Christmas Day. He puts a pillow under the santa suit and wears a santa wig and beard, so the children don't recognize him. The last two Christmas's Hawk really enjoyed this, but this Christmas he was feeling so bad, that he just sat in Jamie's lap and cried.
Breanna really liked Santa. She told Santa that he was getting too fat, so she had left him an apple and juice under her tree. Brooke was clinging to Aunt Wanda and Skyla was clinging to Uncle Chris. But then Santa gave all of them a flashlight and they all (including Hawk) liked Santa after that. Even little Skyla and Brooke went to Santa to get the flashlights.