Breanna (6 years old)

She and Hawk were so close. She and Brooke are the only first cousins that Hawk had. He and Breanna are only 1 year apart.

Here are some of the ways that she is dealing with the loss of Hawk: every night she tells God the things that she wants Hawk to know about her day. She tells God to tell Hawk about things she is doing in school, and things she has done at home that day, etc.

The other day, Tuesday bought some helium balloons for Breanna and Brooke for Valentine day, and she noticed that they were gone. Breanna had taken them outside and let them go up to Heaven for Hawk. Every time that Tuesday or Kevin takes Breanna to wal-mart, she buys a balloon to send up to Hawk. She asked them if she will be able to see all of the balloons that she has sent to Hawk when she gets to Heaven.

Some days she tells them that she wonders what Hawk is doing in Heaven on that day.

We all miss him so much. I will never take his pictures down, but some times it's hard to look at them. I look at them and know that we'll never take another picture of him. He will always be 5 years old. I look at his picture and it makes me miss him so much. We cannot grieve 24/7, but sometimes it is almost unbearable.

1 THESSALONIANS 4:13-14 NIV
"Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope-----

We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him"

-------------------------------------------------------

We will see Hawk again. I know this because God promises it and I believe what He promises. And I am happy for Hawk, because he is experiencing what we can only dream about.

I look at Hawk's picture every night and tell him that I love him and this seems to help a little.

This is the song that was written for Hawk by Ms. Marilyn Willoughby, a teacher at Watertown Elementary School. It was sung by the 4th, 5th, and 6th grade students at the benefit given for Hawk in Feb. 2006. It was sung again by the students of watertown elementary at the funeral for Hawk on February 6, 2007. The last 2 lines were added for the funeral.

A SONG FOR HAWK

" Caring and giving to somebody else

Not just caring and thinking all about yourself..

Reaching out to others is important to do.

As we all know this could be me or you.

--------------------------------------------------

We believe in miracles and the healing of God's hand.

We believe in miracles and united we'll stand.

And we'll hope, and believe, and pray every day

That this illness from Hawk, will be taken away.

-----------------------------------------------------

So for Hawk, we sang and we danced and we played

And we want him to know, that we have all prayed

For strength and for guidance for his family

And a miracle is what we want to see.

-------------------------------------------------

We believe in miracles and the healing of God's hand.

We believe in miracles and united we'll stand.

And we'll hope and believe, and pray every day

That this illness from Hawk, will be taken away.

-------------------------------------------------------

Yes we'll hope and believe and pray every day.

Now this illness from Hawk has been taken away."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wanda and Warren’s memories and pictures of Hawk --

Warren and I want to share some of our memories and pictures of Hawk. He was a special little boy. He loved life so much and was always full of energy. Gwen has said that he was up early every morning and said if the sun was up it was time to get up. Every time we saw him, except when he was sick, he was playing outside, playing inside, playing on the computer or busy doing something. Mike and Gwen were with him at the end. I talked to both of them a couple of times that evening. Mike told me that he thought Hawk must have known he wouldn’t be here long so he tried to cram everything he could in. He loved his family and we all loved him.

Everyone was very excited when Hawk was born. He was Jamie’s first child and Gwen and Mike’s first grandson. He was named James Hawk for his two great-grandfather Smith’s, his PaPa Mike and of course Jamie. The name Hawk came from Daddy’s Cherokee Indian heritage. He was a special boy with a special name. He was a beautiful little boy with big blue eyes and a big smile.

Mother with Hawk when he was a newborn.

Mother, me holding Hawk

Warren and I don’t see the children much since we don’t live close to them so we didn’t see a lot of Hawk but every time we visited family in Tennessee, we saw him and spent time

with him. We probably saw more of him the first two years of his life because Mother was still alive and in a nursing home and we tried to see her as much as possible. I remember one time visiting Mother at the nursing home and Gwen had brought Hawk and Breanna to see Mother. Mother always loved when Gwen brought them to see her. Hawk was just a baby and I took care of him that day. He was a good little baby and so cute and sweet.

Here are some of my earlier pictures of Hawk from my collection :

Me and Hawk





A closeup of Hawk. He was a beautiful little boy. He was a little over 1 year old in this picture.






Gwen and Hawk. Some of these pictures were made at Breanna's 2nd birthday party.



Me and Hawk

Gwen, Breanna, Hawk and Kayla






Breanna, Kayla, Mike and Hawk

Breanna, Mother, Kayla and Hawk

I'm not sure when this was made but it might have been in 2004

I’ll never forget the message on our answering machine from Gwen when Hawk was diagnosed with Pontine Glioma. We had just returned from a trip to Las Vegas and saw messages on the machine. Gwen said that Hawk was very sick and left a phone number to call. I immediately called her and got the bad news. There were lots of tears that day. I got on the internet and researched Pontine Glioma and the news was very bad. Most children didn’t survive past 6 months or a year after being diagnosed but we were praying that Hawk would be the exception and beat all the statistics.

Warren and I started making plans to go to Tennessee and see Hawk. In late December 2005 we flew there and Hawk wasn’t feeling very well at all. He was on steroids and they made him feel really bad. He mostly lay on the couch and watched cartoons or slept. He always wanted one of his blankets on him. He didn’t like anyone but his close family and mostly Mike being close to him or talking to him so we honored that. Every once in a while he would say something to us. We just felt really bad for him. Everyone was sad and shocked at what was happening to him.

These are pictures made in December 2005 when we went to Tennessee:

Chris, Mike, Hawk and Skyla

Gwen holding Hawk

Mike and Hawk

I kept in touch with Gwen several times a week to check on Hawk and we went back to Tennessee in late January 2006 to see him (and everyone else) again. He was feeling much better then than when we had seen him a month before. He was playing and had lots of energy. We went outside with him and Warren swung him on the swing set in the back yard. Then he wanted to ride his battery operated 4-wheeler and would pretend he was going to run over Warren. Warren would stand still like Hawk was going to hit him and then move out of his way. I took pictures and a movie for Gwen. Then Hawk wanted to go back in the house so we took him back inside. Brooke and Skyla were there also. Hawk and Warren played for a long time inside throwing a balloon back and forth to each other. He loved to play. When Mike got home from work Hawk wanted to go outside again and ride some more. Mike pushed Skyla in one of the push toys and Brooke and Hawk rode the 4-wheelers. We were glad to see Hawk feeling so much better.

Some pictures from our January 2006 trip:

Me, Tuesday, Gwen, Hawk and Skyla.

Hawk in his Blues Clues chair with one of his favorite blankets over him

Hawk on his 4-wheeler pretending to run into Warren

Mike with Skyla and Hawk

Hawk, Brooke and Warren. This is when Warren and Hawk were playing with the balloon but you can't see the balloon. :-)

Mike pushing Skyla in her push toy and Hawk riding his 4-wheeler

Warren and Hawk

We didn’t see Hawk again until late October of 2006. I was scheduled for hip replacement surgery in November so we decided to go to West Virginia to visit Warren’s sister Debbi and her family and then go on to Tennessee to visit with Gwen and Mike. We didn’t know when we would be able to travel again after my surgery. So we drove to West Virginia and visited there and then we drove to Tennessee and spent a couple of days there. Hawk and Skyla spent one day while we were there. Hawk was feeling great and was so full of energy. Warren was sitting in the rocking chair and Hawk got cushions and put them on Warren’s legs and put the small couch Gwen bought for the kids at the bottom of Warren’s feet and then Hawk would climb over the arm of the chair and do flips down the pillows and onto the couch. He did that several times. One time the adults were in the kitchen and we looked in the living room and Hawk and Skyla were sitting in the little couch watching tv. It looked so cute to see them sitting there together.

Hawk and Skyla on the couch

Every time I would call Gwen she would say that Hawk was feeling good and looked great. He was eating great and had actually gained some weight. He was always a small little boy for his age. We were beginning to believe that he was beating the tumor since he was doing so well.

We were shocked to hear in late January of this year (2007) that the symptoms of the brain tumor were coming back. Gwen told me that Hawk’s eye had started turning in and then he got double vision. Everyone was hoping that Hawk’s condition would stay at that point but it wasn’t to be and he just kept getting worse; losing use of his leg and his arm. He just kept getting worse and we started talking about going back to Tennessee to see him but we didn’t get to see him alive again. I did talk to him twice on the phone and he told me that he loved me. Usually he wouldn’t talk to me on the phone; like the other kids, but the last two times I called Gwen when he was at her house, he did come to the phone and say “I love you. Bye.” One of the times Gwen had already hung up and he told her to call back and he told Warren he loved him and then told me he loved me. He was a sweet little boy and he is greatly missed by everyone in his family.

Aunt Wanda and Uncle Warren Parker

THE LAST TWO WEEKS OF HAWK'S JOURNEY ON EARTH:

January 18, 2007

Hawk was on Channel 4 today with Make-A-Wish-Foundation. All of this month, channel 4 is featuring some of the children who have been helped by Make-A-Wish-Foundation. We thought he did a great job and was so cute!!! But I guess we are a little prejudiced.The other day when Hawk and Skyla were here spending the night, Hawk and I were in the kitchen playing a game on the computer and Mike and Skyla were in the living room watching cartoons. Anyway, all of a sudden, Skyla came into the kitchen and said to Hawk, "I love you, Bubba." and Hawk said "I love you too." They are so cute. They tell each other and all of us that they love us all the time. Skyla calls Hawk "Bubba". That is Jamie's nickname also.

SEE POST LABELED JANUARY 21, 2007

WEDNESDAY JANUARY 24, 2007:

Lindy called and said that Hawk was walking different as if he had an inner ear infection. I thought how can that be. He was walking great on Sunday when he was here.

FRIDAY JANUARY 26, 2007:

We decided to take Hawk on a ride on the Music City Star commuter train. It was Mike and I, Kayla, Mike's mom: Cathy Waddle and her husband Derald and Hawk. We got on the train in Lebanon. Jamie got on in Hermitage. Hawk was excited to see him. We noticed that Hawk was walking different. We had been noticing changes like his eye turning in, but had been hopeful that he would stay well. But after seeing him on Friday, we knew that he was taking a turn for the worse. We had no idea how fast it would be. He loved the train ride. When we got into Nashville, Mike and Kayla walked downtown to get something to eat. Mike asked Hawk if he wanted to go and Mike would carry him, but he wanted to stay with his Daddy. On the ride down there and back, Kayla, Hawk and Jamie sat in the upper row of seats. Jamie and Hawk got off at the Hermitage stop. Jamie and Hawk drove on into Lebanon and picked up Skyla and Hawk and Skyla spent Friday night and Saturday with Jamie. Jamie and Leah took the children to the park on Saturday. They had a good time with their Daddy and Leah.


This picture was taken on Saturday January 27, 2007 at Leah's house. Leah takes such great pictures of them.





SUNDAY JANUARY 28, 2007:

Mike went to church on Sunday. Kayla and I stayed at home. I was thinking that we would go and get Hawk and Skyla after church. Anyway, Mike drove up after church and he had Hawk and Skyla with him. I am surprised that Hawk went to church that day, he was already limping very bad because of his left leg. Anyway, after Sunday class, Hawk hobbled into Mike's class and ran into Mike's arms. He insisted on coming home with Mike, even though his Dad was supposed to pick him up later and bring him over. I was so glad to see them. Kayla was still here. She played with the babies all day. We took her home later in the day. Hawk and Skyla wanted to spend the night. It was a huge difference in the way he was walking from Friday until Sunday. We felt so sorry for him. He could hardly walk. His left foot had turned in and when he would try to walk he would stumble and fall. I held him and told him that I was sorry that this was happening to him, and I told him that it was because of the boo-boo in his head. I wanted him to know that something was causing all of this. Hawk wanted to go downstairs and play in the playroom. Mike had to carry him down the steps. Hawk said, "Pa Pa, I'm walking different." This just broke Mike's heart. I had called everyone and told them that Hawk was getting worse by the day. Our son, Chris and his wife Wanda came over on Sunday night to see Hawk. Hawk crawled up in Chris's lap and said, "I love Uncle Chris, he knows everything. " Chris said that he would never forget this. I told Chris that this was Hawk's gift to him. They were shocked at the difference in Hawk from a week before. It was very sad to watch all these changes in him.

MONDAY JANUARY 29, 2007:

By Monday morning, Hawk realized that he wasn't going to be able to walk right again. He crawled up into Mike's lap and said, "Pa, I don't feel good. I don't walk right. I want to call my Mommy or Daddy." I tried to call Lindy, but she had went into school to put in her request for a leave of absence. Mike and I were crying, it was so hard to see all of this happening to him. I called Jamie and he said that he would be right there. He came and stayed most of the day with Hawk. By Monday morning, Hawk had started drooling really bad and was having a little difficulty with chewing and swallowing his food. He said, "Nannie, I can't open my mouth right. It's the boo-boo in my head." After Jamie left, Michael Drake (a close friend of Jamie) came by and brought the baked chicken from Wal-Mart. Hawk loves that chicken. He and Skyla ate a lot of the chicken. Michael stayed a long time with us and played with Hawk and Skyla. Hawk compensated for not being able to walk and played on the floor pretending to be a puppie with a broken leg or he would play with his cars and trucks and motorcycles. Hawk and Skyla went home on Monday night.

WEDNESDAY JANUARY 31, 2007:

Hawk came over to our house at around 10:30. Nannie Cathy and Derald called and wanted to come over and bring their maltese puppies (snowball and missy mae) over to play with Hawk. He had a ball with the dogs. He played on the floor with them for a long time. He still felt like playing, but he was just playing on the floor. Later in the day, I picked up Breanna and Brooke and brought them over. They stayed Wednesday and Thursday. Our good friends, Charlie and Frances Parson came over on Wednesday night to see Hawk. They brought coloring books for Hawk, Breanna and Brooke. For some reason Hawk got very frustrated trying to color, he was having double vision by now, so maybe that was the reason. Anyway, I picked him up and held him and he went to sleep on my shoulder. he slept for awhile and when Mike tried to get him to lay him down, he woke up and wanted to stay awake. Charlie and Frances had brought a motorcycle for Hawk to play with. They played with him for a long time with the motorcycle. He had a great time with that. We had made a tent in the living room for the children to play in. Hawk was getting tired, so he crawled into the tent and told us that he wanted to be alone. He fell asleep in the tent. We put Breanna and Brooke to bed, and Mike slept on one couch and I slept on the other one to be close to Hawk. Later in the night Mike got up and tried to put Hawk into bed, but Hawk woke up and wanted Mike to sleep on the floor with him and pretend that they were camping out (we had a fire in the fireplace insert).

SEE POST DATED THURSDAY, FEBRUARY, 1, 2007

An update to the post on Thursday February 1, 2007: Hawk decided that he wanted some chicken mcnuggets, so Breanna and I went to McDonalds to get them and Hawk and Brooke stayed with Mike. Anyway, on the way back I called the house and Hawk wanted to talk to Breanna. She asked him if he wanted to talk to her imaginary friend and she started talking to him. I really couldn't hear everything she was saying, but Mike said that Hawk was getting so tickled at her. Hawk said, "Breanna, you're funny. I love you." Mike said that Hawk was laughing so hard. I guess that's the last time that he laughed like that.

SATURDAY FEBRUARY 3, 2007

Mike went to his mom's to help them with wallpapering the bathroom. I went over to see how Hawk was doing. I was shocked at the difference in him in just 2 days. He had started having severe headaches on Friday night and difficulty swallowing. Hospice had started him on morphine and another medication for his anxiety. He had become very irritated that morning because he still wanted to play and his body wouldn' t let him. So he was given a medication to calm him and the morphine for the severe headaches. By the time I got over there he was barely whispering. Anyway, I held him and he said in a whisper, "I love you Nannie." This was the last thing he said to me. I told him that I loved him also. I called Mike and told him that he needed to come over. He came over and held Hawk and told him that he loved him "36". Hawk would tell us that he loved us "36". This was a lot because 36 was a big number for him. He whispered to Mike that he loved him "36". This was the last thing he said to Mike. At this point, we thought that he might be able to come over to the house the next day. Mike's Dad and step-mother, Jim and Jane Smith and Mike's brother and sister-in-law, Sammie and Debbie Smith were coming up from Lawrence County to see Hawk and our sons and families were coming over. My sister and brother-in-law, Wanda and Warren Parker were planning on flying in on the next weekend from Myrtle Beach, S.C. to see Hawk. I went home on Saturday night and made a huge pot of beef stew and 2 cakes for our company the next day.

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 4, 2007:

We got up and realized that Hawk would not be able to come to our house. Lindy had called Jamie and he had already gone over to be with Hawk. We waited for our family from Lawrence county to get here. I was having a hard time with this. I called Kevin and family and Chris and Wanda and told them to meet us over at the Mcpeaks, that's where Hawk was. After our family from Lawrence county got here we loaded all of the food that I had prepared and took it over there. When we walked into the bedroom where Hawk was, we knew that this would probably be his last day here. Hawk was lying on the bed with his eyes closed. He was having a really hard time breathing. Jamie was sitting by the bed holding Hawk's hand and crying. This was about 10:30 A.M. The Mcpeaks and Mark and Lindy were there. Our family was: Mike and I, Jamie, Chris, Wanda, PaPa Jim, Nanny Jane, Sammie, Debbie, Kevin, Tuesday, Breanna and Brooke and Skyla. Hawk never regained consciousness. He was on high doses of morphine via morphine pump. Later, Nannie Cathy and Derald and Mike's sister and brother-in-law, Regina and Mike Carr came over. Everyone loved on Hawk and told him how much they loved him and cried. I loved on him all day. I wanted to remember how his little forehead smelled and how it was to kiss his little head. Mike and I and Jamie and our relatives stayed in the room most of the time and loved on him and told him how much we loved him. We could not get enough of being with him. Anyway, later in the afternoon, everyone had left except Mike, Jamie, and I and Mike and Regina, Mcpeaks, Mark, Lindy and Skyla. Anyway late in the evening, Jamie decided to leave--he had to turn in some papers in order to get paid the next day. He intended to come back early the next morning. At this point, we had no idea that he wouldn't live through the night. Mark left, in order to sleep and go to work the next day. Mike and Regina Carr were still there. My sister had called several times to check on Hawk. Judy Roberts (Tuesday's mother in Florida) had called. Around 9:00 P.M, a lady from Hospice came in. Hawk was on morphine and the nurse from Hospice assured us that he was not aware of what was going with him. He was really struggling for breath. She told us that he would not live through the night. I called Jamie, but couldn't get him. He had not slept in three days and Lindy had given him a sleeping pill before he left in order to get some rest. Lindy put Skyla to bed. Mike and I decided that we would not leave. We would sit up in the room with Hawk. Mike got in the bed with Hawk and lay beside him. I sat on the foot of the bed. Ken sat in a chair beside the bed. Barbara and Lindy were exhaused and had layed down. Around 11:20, Mike noticed that Hawk's breathing had changed for the worse. Mike was holding him and talking to him and I was at the foot of the bed when he took his last breath. I had told him a few minutes before that it was alright for him to go to see Jesus. Mike and I had read that when people have a Near Death Experience, they hover over their body for a few minutes. Anyway, Mike said that maybe Hawk's little soul was watching , so Mike looked up at the ceiling and said, " Bye Hawk, we love you baby." I ran in the bedroom and told Lindy that Hawk was leaving. She ran in there, but he was gone by the time she got in there. I called Jamie and told him. Lindy held Hawk and told him bye. She was overwhelmed, so she went back and lay down. We had to wait for Hospice to come out and pronounce him. The lady came from Hospice and pronounced him and took all of the medicines and destroyed them and left. Then Ken called Partlow Funeral Home. Jackie and Jason Partlow came out. They were so nice. When they started to put Hawk on the stretcher, Jackie said that he wasn't going to cover him with the cold sheet (even though Hawk wouldn't know it), but he said that he was going to cover him with his warm blanket and that's what he did. Mike and I stayed with Ken until they took Hawk out of the house. We were told to meet the next day at 1:00 to make arrangements.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY, 5, 2007:

Jamie, Leah, Lindy, Mark, Mcpeaks, Mike and I met with Jason Partlow to make final arrangements. Larry Locke came by to be with all of us. Lindy and Jamie chose a beautiful wooden casket for Hawk. They chose the pall bearers to be Hawk's uncles: Kevin and Chris Smith, Lance McPeak and Jamie decided to help carry his son to his final resting place. I thought this was so sweet. He carried him through life and he carried him to his final resting place.


SEE POST DATED MONDAY FEBRUARY 5, 2007.

TUESDAY FEBRUARY 6, 2007

Mike's brother and sister-in-law (Sammie and Debbie Smith) from Lawrence County arrived at our house early in the morning. Our good friends, Charlie and Frances Parson, had brought a huge platter of ham and potatoe salad and rolls and baked beans for everyone. My sister and brother-in-law from Myrtle Beach, S.C (Wanda and Warren Parker) had flown in the night before. They arrived at the house. Then Chris and Wanda and Jamie and Leah and Mike's neice Melanie and Mike's dad and step-mother, Jim and Jane Smith all arrived. We all went to the church at 2:15 for the family viewing before the public arrived at 3:00. Mike's mom, Cathy and her husband Derald Waddle were there and Kevin and Tuesday and Breanna and Brooke were there.
There were a lot of pictures of Hawk displayed in the foyer. Jamie and Leah and Lindy and Mark went in first to be with Hawk before the rest of us went in. Jamie played "Your are my sunshine " to Hawk on Jamie's great-grandfather Kelly Price's harmonica. Jamie would play that to Hawk a lot while he was growing up. Hawk would play the harmonica also.




Here is a picture of Hawk when he was about 3 yrs old playing the harmonica.


Anyway, Jamie played the harmonica to Hawk and then placed it in the casket with Hawk.

Then all of the rest of the family went in to view Hawk. His little body looked wonderful. He looked so good. Partlow did a wonderful job fixing him up. It was a very emotional moment to see him lying there. He looked like he was asleep. At 3:00 the public started to come in. The church sanctuary holds around 1,000 people. There was a constant line of people from 3:00 til 7:00 P. M. Hundreds and hundreds of people came to see Hawk. One of the men from UPS came in his UPS truck. It was a tractor-trailor with doubles parked in the church parking lot. One of our friends from UPS said that no wonder we were so crazy about Hawk because he was so beautiful and he was. At 7:00 pm we sat down for the funeral. Larry Locke had a wonderful message about Hawk and our memories about him. He read our letter we had written about Hawk--see Post dated Tuesday, February 6.
The children from Hawk's school sang a special song that was written for Hawk. It was very nice.
The church was almost full of people paying their last respects for Hawk.
After the service, everyone left except family. We had one more chance to be with Hawk before they closed the casket.

WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 7, 2007.

All of our family who attended the funeral and several friends and relatives attended the graveside service for Hawk. Uncle Chris, Uncle Kevin, Uncle Lance and Hawk's Dad, Jamie carried his casket to the grave. I think that was the hardest part--seeing his little casket sitting there ready to be buried. Larry Locke said some special things from memories we had shared with him about Hawk and read a scripture and said a prayer. Then they lowered Hawks casket into the ground. The men started shoveling dirt into the grave. Jamie went over and shoveled some of the dirt into his son's grave. Hawk's cousin Breanna ( she and Hawk loved each other so much) got as close as she could to his grave and watched everything. Breanna had brought 20 balloons to let rise into the sky. Each one said--We love you Hawk. As all of the children let the balloons go, Aunt Tuesday led them in a song of "Jesus loves me" and "This little light of mine". Tuesday gave a balloon to Lindy to give to Skyla. I had read a book to Hawk and Breanna titled "Someday Heaven". In the book, it described how when Jesus rose to Heaven it was like a balloon rising into the sky. When I read the book to Hawk, he wanted to see a balloon rise up into heaven, so I bought him a helium balloon and let him release it one day and watch it rise up, so I thought it was very special for Breanna to bring the balloons to rise up into Heaven in honor of Hawk.
After the graveside service, all of us returned to the church for a wonderful meal prepared for us. This is a wonderful ministry provided by our church. We were served a wonderful meal and dessert. Thank you so much to Vickie Working, Carolyn Lane and Chris Bradford for serving our family.

We prayed for a miracle for Hawk and we believe that we got a miracle for him. For a child that had brain cancer, Hawk was given a year of incredible energy, and a year of making wonderful memories with all of us. The last two weeks of his life, his little body was experiencing changes, but he kept a wonderful attitude through all of that. He actually had only two bad days. One on Saturday and on Sunday. And on Sunday, the last of his life here, I don't believe he was aware of what his little body was going through.

We love you Hawk. We can't wait to see you again and then it will be for eternity. We will never have to leave you again. Praise The Lord!!!

HAWK'S OBITUARY: I scanned the actual obituary, but it was too little to read. So I have copied it word for word.

James Hawk Smith
Graveside services for Master
Smith will be 11 a.m. on
Wedsneday, Feb. 7, in the
Bethany Cemetery with Dr.
Larry Locke officiating.
Visitation will be Tuesday, Feb.
6, from 3 p.m.-7 p.m. in the
College Hills Church of Christ. A
Celebration of Life for Master
Smith will be held after the visitation
in the College Hills Church of Christ at 7 p.m.
Master Smith 5,
of Lebanon died
Sunday, Feb. 4,
2007, at his home.
He was a kinder-
garten student at
the Watertown
Elementery School and he attended College Hills
Church of Christ.
Survivors include: father,
Jamie (Leah Holt) Smith of
Hermitage; mother, Lindy (Mark)
Taylor of Lebanon; sister, Skyla
Sno Smith of Lebanon; paternal
grandparents, Mike and Gwen
Smith of Lebanon; maternal
grandparents, Ken and Barbara
McPeak of Lebanon; paternal
great-grandparents, Jim(Jane)
Smith, of Loretto, and Cathy and
Derald Waddle, of Lebanon;
uncles, Lance (Julie) McPeak, of
North Carolina, Kevin(Tuesday)
Smith and Chris(Wanda) Smith,
both of Carthage; cousins,
Breanna and Brooke Smith of
Carthage and Kayla Conner, of
Thompson Station.
Active pallbearers will be
family.
In lieu of flowers the family
request contributions may be
made in memory of Hawk to the
College Hills Church of Christ
Children's Ministry. Alive Hospice
or "Make-A-Wish"

James Hawk Smith

August 31, 2001-February 4, 2007

A LETTER TO HAWK. WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH:

---------------------------------

To our precious little Hawk. We will never forget you, Hawk. We thank the Lord for giving you to us for 5 short years. That was such a huge blessing--if we are never blessed again--that one blessing will be enough for the rest of our lives.

---------------------------

You taught us the true meaning of unconditional Love. You are a beautiful, special little boy. You taught us how to show enthusiasm and excitement for even the smallest things in life.

----------------------

Jesus tells us that unless we become as little children, then we will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I know that Heaven must be a wonderful place if it is made up of little children such as you.

-----------------

I know that all last week, there was excitement and happiness in Heaven as everyone was making preparations for you to come there. There was pain and sorrow here, but there was so much excitement in Heaven. They were ready and waiting with great anticipation for your return Home. I know that when you got there on Sunday night, that you knew exactly where you were, because that was you original home.

------------------

-Thank you so much Hawk for choosing our family to come to 5 years ago. God Bless you-our precious little boy. Now you can run free, and ride you bike and 4-wheeler and play ball and do all the things than you want to do.

----------------

We will never forget you. Your sweet precious smile and your beautiful little voice will be with us until the day we die. We have so many wonderful memories. Our goal now is to live in such a way as to come and see you some day in Heaven. You told us that some day your Daddy would come to see you in Heaven. And I know that if you have your way, we all will because you loved all of us so much.

-----------------

Godspeed precious little Hawk. Heaven is a better place today because you are there. We cannot wait to see you again someday.

With all of our Love,

Pa Pa Mike and Nannie Gwen

------------------

JESUS SAID, "LET THE LITTLE CHILDREN COME TO ME, AND DO NOT HINDER THEM, FOR THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN BELONGS TO SUCH AS THESE."

MATTHEW 19:14

MONDAY FEBRUARY, 5, 2007


Hawk is in Heaven Today.

Hawk passed away last night at 11.30 P.M. Mike and I were with him when he left to go to Heaven and we stayed with him until the funeral director took him out of the house. This hurts so bad. How do we get through the coming days. I know we'll get through with the Lord's help.

The arrangements are as follows: Visitation tomorrow, Tuesday February 6, 2007 from 3:00 PM until 7:00 PM. Celebration of Life service at 7:00 PM at College Hills Church of Christ, 1401 Leeville Pike, Lebanon, Tn.---Burial at Bethany Cemetery, Lebanon Tn on Wednesday 11:00 AM

I read these words, but it's like it's not Hawk I'm talking about. It's nots right to be talking about Hawk's funeral and Hawk's burial. It is just not right. But I know that the Lord knows more about everything than I do and I'll lean on him, but I don't say it'll be easy to accept it.

Thanks to everyone for all of the prayers. They helped and are still helping our family more than you know.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2007

Hawk, Breanna, and Brooke playing with the Moon Sand that Channel 4 gave him when he was on the other day. We put an old table cloth down in the sun room and they played in there with it.

Hawk can't smile anymore, but is still trying to.

He and Breanna and Brooke spent Wednesday and Wednesday night with us. They went home late this afternoon.



Hawk and Brooke in the Jeep. He tried to ride the 4-wheeler, but he couldn't keep his left foot in place, Mike put him in the Jeep and he did fine.

Just 2 weeks ago, he was riding his 4-wheeler and running and playing. We were told from the beginning that this tumor would be very rapid once it started growing again.

How do we get through this. To watch daily what this tumor is doing to Hawk. It is almost more than we can take. To see this beautiful little boy taken away from us. But we know that we have to do it and so does Hawk. But whatever happens, we will be there every step of the way with him. He is so precious. We love him so much. But as much as we love him, I know that God loves him more.

Breanna on the 4-wheeler.












Here they are in their hide-out we made for them in the living room. Later in the evening, Hawk was getting tired and not feeling very well, so he crawled into the hide-out (we put blankets all around so that it was private) Anyway, Hawk crawled into the hide-out and told us that he wanted to be alone. He lay there and went to sleep. We put Breanna and Brooke to bed and decided to let Hawk sleep where he was. I got on one couch in the living room and Mike got on the other one. We had a fire in the fireplace insert and some time in the early morning, Hawk woke up and wanted Mike to get in the floor with him and pretend that they were camping out and had a campfire. So Mike slept on the floor with Hawk in front of the fire.




Hawk and Breanna. She was so good to him. Here he was sitting in the computer chair while I was fixing them some lunch. Breanna went and got a blanket for him and got her a chair and sat beside him. She told him that anything he wanted she would get it for him. She went and got some trucks for him to play with. Then she told him that she would pray for him and she did.

At lunch, they held hands and he said the prayer.

Tomorrow Hawk gets to ride in the pacer car at the Nashville Super Speedway. Hawk gets to ride around the speedway with one of the drivers. We are going and take movies and pictures.

We would give everything we have to stop all of this from happening to Hawk, but we can't do that. We just have to pray for the strength for Hawk and all of us to get through it.

PSALM 23 NIV

1The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
4Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever

AMEN

My thoughts: Last night I thought, what do I pray for now about Hawk. For 13 months I've prayed for Hawk to be healed. Now I am praying for God to give Hawk whatever he needs to get through this. And for strength for all of us to be able bear it all. But I know that Hawk is healed. If we don't see it now, then Hawk will see it in Heaven. He will beat the cancer. It may take his little body, but his little soul will soar to Heaven and he will be free of it. God is good.

Hawk tells us that he is walking different because of the boo-boo in his head. I wonder if everyone in Heaven are getting excited and making preparations for Hawk to come Home.

Before he came to our family, we were excited and made a lot preparations for his arrival. We were so excited about having a little grandson. Jamie said that he had always wanted a son.
Hawk was born premature on August 31, 2001. We were told that his lungs might not be mature and that he might have to be rushed to vanderbilt hospital. But he was fine when he got here. He came into the world with a lot energy, a lot of love for everyone, a lot of enthusiam and curiosity.

He loves to laugh. He gets so tickled about the smallest things. Mike's grandmother (Ma Price)used to say that she would get more tickled at watching Mike laugh about something that she would about what was really going on. And that is the way we are about Hawk. We get more tickled about watching him laugh about something than we do about what it is he laughing about.
He is a beautiful little boy with a unique name--Hawk. He is so loving. He tells all of us everyday how much he loves us. When we go over to get him or when he is brought over here, he will come running and be so excited about seeing us even if its only been a day or two since we have seen him. He loves to come and spend the night with us. And we love to have him and all of the grandchildren. He is just a precious little boy.

He doesn't understand everything that is happening with him now, except he knows that it is being caused because of the boo-boo in his head. But he is compensating. He plays in the floor instead of running and playing. He would always get up by 6:00 or 6:30 and when he got up, he was ready to go. He would get up ready to do everything he could that day. In about 1 hour, he would have already played on the computer, played outside on the batter operated 4-wheeler or jeep, played a video game on tv, etc. He wanted to do as much as he could everyday. With everything we have over here for him and the grandchildren, he would want to do as much as he could for that day. Hawk used to want Mike to put him in the swing and push him and while he was swinging he would want Mike to play horse shoes and Hawk would watch Mike throw horse shoes while he would swing and watch him.

Anyway, Hawk is getting a little worse everyday. His right eye is turned in and this is causing double vision. He is wearing a patch on his eye to help with this. He has paralysis in his left side. This has affected his left leg and left arm. He is still trying to walk a little bit, but has a lot of difficulty with this. He is having headaches everyday, but we give him ibuprofen and this helps. He is wearing pull-ups now and is drooling sometimes, sometimes this is better than other times. But he is still playing and has a very good appetite. He still has quite a bit of energy. He gets a little tired, but will sit in our lap and take a short nap and then he is ready to go again. But he does get frustrated sometimes and then he wants us to hold him and then we hold him and love on him and tell him how much we love him and tell him that we are sorry that all of this is happening to him and we cry and just keep on loving on him.

Just two weeks ago, Hawk was running and playing. But we knew from the very first (Dec. 15, 2005) that if this tumor started growing again that it would be a rapid thing. Hawk has had a year of doing wonderful and we are thankful.

God is good. He did not cause this to happen to Hawk, but he will be there for Hawk and for us and because of Jesus overcoming death on the cross, then Hawk will have the victory over the cancer. Hallelujah!!