A video I made of Hawk. Remembering him and missing him...
Monday, March 07, 2011
Hawk on Channel 4 at Midday..Jan. 18, 2007. It had been almost a year since he had taken his MAW trip. I think he had forgotten some of it. He was so enthralled with the microphone. At one point, he turned to Lindy and said, " I love you, mommy."....he would do this all the time with all of us. All on a sudden, he would say, "Nana or Papa or whoever", and we would say, "what" and he would say, "I love you."
Such a precious little boy. I miss him so much. I miss telling him bedtime stories. I miss his enthusiasm, his smile, his energy...I miss everything about him. Sometimes the memories make me cry and sometimes they make me smile...
I'll never forget this precious little boy or EVER stop missing him. Sometimes it's just too much...
Love you Hawk. I miss you more than words can express....
Monday, January 04, 2010
We are having the First Annual Hawk's Walk for a Cure and Awareness on May 1 at Fiddler's Grove, Lebanon, Tn.
http://hawkswalk.weebly.com/index.html
Trying to bring awareness and a cure for Pediatric Brain Tumors and especially DIPG. We miss Hawk so much. It's been almost 3 years since he left. Three years since we've seen him, heard his voice, heard his laugh. When I write about it, it's almost too much.
I would love to see him again. See his enthusiasm for life. But I know it's not possible during my life here. Now I'm crying.
We love you our precious Hawk and miss you so much. The other day, Skyla (Hawk's little sister) was talking and I asked her who she was talking to and she said "Bubba" (Hawk). She said that she talks to him all the time. She is now the age he was when he left. Our family will never ever get over losing this precious little boy. EVER.
JESUS SAID, "LET THE LITTLE CHILDREN COME TO ME, AND DO NOT HINDER THEM, FOR THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN BELONGS TO SUCH AS THESE." MATTHEW 19:14
visit: www.icouldbeyourchild.org and read about the children and the foundations and ways you can help.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
4 years ago today 12/12/2005, Mike's family from Lawrence County came up to spend the day with us for Christmas. We had been noticing changes in Hawk since Oct. But on this day, I could tell that things were getting worse. He looked like someone who had had a stroke. I remember taking a picture of him, Jamie and Skyla in front of the tree. He was holding onto Jamie's hand. And Hawk wasn't smiling. I wondered why he wasn't smiling. Now I understand that he couldn't smile. I don't like to look at that picture. I understand now that he was trying to smile, but just couldn't. Breaks my heart. There was a tumor inside his head on his brain stem. After everyone left, I called Lindy and asked her to make an appt. with Hawk's doctor and I would take him.She called the next day and said that his appt was for Dec 15th.
I called Jamie and asked if he wanted to go with me and he did. Hawk's other grandpa called me and said he wanted to go also. On the 15th, Ken picked Hawk up and met Jamie and me at the doctor's office. I remember every detail of that day. I remember what the examination room looked like. How Hawk reacted when Jamie and I walked in. He was so excited to see Jamie, as always. Jamie and Lindy were divorced, so Hawk didn't see Jamie everyday. I remember Dr Steger coming into the room and holding her finger in front of Hawk's eyes and telling him to follow her finger. He couldn't follow with his right eye. I knew immediately that something was very wrong. She left the room and immediately called Vanderbilt Children's Hospital. She came back in and told us to take Hawk to Vanderbilt. That it was possibly a stroke, a tumor on his brain or a tumor on his spine. I am a very positive thinking person. On the way to Vanderbilt, I was thinking...if it's a stroke, I'm sure that can be corrected.
We got to Vanderbilt. They did an MRI. They came into the room and told Jamie that Hawk definitely had a mass on the brain, but would do a CT scan the next day to determine exactly what it was. Lindy and Barbara arrived at the hospital, Mike stayed at our house and took care of Skyla. I remember Hawk's hospital room and everything about that day. Dr Steger, Hawk's pediatrician came to Vanderbilt and came into Hawk's room and went around the room and hugged everyone of us. When I got home that night, I told Mike....I don't know exactly what's wrong, but it's going to be very bad. And I was right.
The next day on the 16th, they did the CT scan. By the time they had the results, the only people who were at the hospital were Mike, Jamie, Lindy and I. Dr K came into Hawk's room and asked Jamie and Lindy to step into another room with him. They asked if I wanted to go. Mike stayed in the room with Hawk and played a game of candyland. Dr. K calmly told us that Hawk had a tumor on his brain stem....the worse kind of cancer a child can have....the name for it is diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma...DIPG. That 95% of the children live less than 2 yrs. That there was no cure. I called all of our family and told them. Everyone was in shock and disbelief. There were a lot of tears shed. And so began the nightmare for our family. Our lives changed on those 3 days and will never be the same again.
Hawk lived 13 1/2 months after being diagnosed. And passed away on Feb. 4, 2007. We miss him everyday. We will NEVER stop missing him or loving him.
Very little is done for cancer research for children. Only a small percent of money raised for cancer research is given for the children. 100% of money raised at Hawk's Walk will go to bringing awareness and research for childhood cancer.
I don't remember any other Dec 12, 15 or 16th of any other year in my life. But I'll always remember Dec 12th, 15th and 16th of 2005.
And on Dec 15th of this year, we'll be spending it at a benefit for Bishop Mikaelian, a beautiful young girl who is fighting a brain tumor. I'm thankful that on Dec 15th of this year, we can be supporting and encouraging another family who knows the pain and heartache of having a child with a brain tumor, but I'm not glad that after 4 years very little has been done for childhood cancer awareness and research
I called Jamie and asked if he wanted to go with me and he did. Hawk's other grandpa called me and said he wanted to go also. On the 15th, Ken picked Hawk up and met Jamie and me at the doctor's office. I remember every detail of that day. I remember what the examination room looked like. How Hawk reacted when Jamie and I walked in. He was so excited to see Jamie, as always. Jamie and Lindy were divorced, so Hawk didn't see Jamie everyday. I remember Dr Steger coming into the room and holding her finger in front of Hawk's eyes and telling him to follow her finger. He couldn't follow with his right eye. I knew immediately that something was very wrong. She left the room and immediately called Vanderbilt Children's Hospital. She came back in and told us to take Hawk to Vanderbilt. That it was possibly a stroke, a tumor on his brain or a tumor on his spine. I am a very positive thinking person. On the way to Vanderbilt, I was thinking...if it's a stroke, I'm sure that can be corrected.
We got to Vanderbilt. They did an MRI. They came into the room and told Jamie that Hawk definitely had a mass on the brain, but would do a CT scan the next day to determine exactly what it was. Lindy and Barbara arrived at the hospital, Mike stayed at our house and took care of Skyla. I remember Hawk's hospital room and everything about that day. Dr Steger, Hawk's pediatrician came to Vanderbilt and came into Hawk's room and went around the room and hugged everyone of us. When I got home that night, I told Mike....I don't know exactly what's wrong, but it's going to be very bad. And I was right.
The next day on the 16th, they did the CT scan. By the time they had the results, the only people who were at the hospital were Mike, Jamie, Lindy and I. Dr K came into Hawk's room and asked Jamie and Lindy to step into another room with him. They asked if I wanted to go. Mike stayed in the room with Hawk and played a game of candyland. Dr. K calmly told us that Hawk had a tumor on his brain stem....the worse kind of cancer a child can have....the name for it is diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma...DIPG. That 95% of the children live less than 2 yrs. That there was no cure. I called all of our family and told them. Everyone was in shock and disbelief. There were a lot of tears shed. And so began the nightmare for our family. Our lives changed on those 3 days and will never be the same again.
Hawk lived 13 1/2 months after being diagnosed. And passed away on Feb. 4, 2007. We miss him everyday. We will NEVER stop missing him or loving him.
Very little is done for cancer research for children. Only a small percent of money raised for cancer research is given for the children. 100% of money raised at Hawk's Walk will go to bringing awareness and research for childhood cancer.
I don't remember any other Dec 12, 15 or 16th of any other year in my life. But I'll always remember Dec 12th, 15th and 16th of 2005.
And on Dec 15th of this year, we'll be spending it at a benefit for Bishop Mikaelian, a beautiful young girl who is fighting a brain tumor. I'm thankful that on Dec 15th of this year, we can be supporting and encouraging another family who knows the pain and heartache of having a child with a brain tumor, but I'm not glad that after 4 years very little has been done for childhood cancer awareness and research
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Thursday..Oct. 8, 2009....We arrived in Greeneville about 8:30 in the evening. Jamie wanted us to come on over to Leah's brother, Denny and his wife Karen's house. So we did. Skyla had gone up with Jamie and Leah a few days earlier, so we went over and spent some time with Denny and Karen. They have a beautiful home out in the country. Jamie put some boston butts on the smoker to cook until some time the next day. We stayed there for awhile and then went on over the our motel. Skyla went with us. My sister, Wanda and her husband, Warren were already at the motel. They came to our room and visited awhile. Skyla was playing and all of a sudden she said: "I miss Bubba (Hawk)". I asked her what made her think of him all of a sudden and she said that she just did and that she missed him. Wanda and Warren went to their room and we went to bed.
Friday Oct. 9, 2009....We got up and joined Wanda and Warren for breakfast. After breakfast, we all went to the Davy Crockett Birthplace State Park. It was interesting to read about him and see the replica of the cabin that he was born in. After he married, he moved to Lawrence County (the county Mike and I are from). There is a Davy Crockett State Park in Lawrenceburg Tn also.
We left the park and drove to Jonesboro..the oldest town in Tennessee. It is a beautiful town. All of the old buildings have been turned into shops and restaurants. We went into a candy store. The young man who was working in there asked me where we were from. I told him and told him why we were in that area. That our son was getting married. I had Skyla with me and I told him that her daddy was the one getting married. And I told him about Hawk. He wanted to know all about Hawk's illness and said that he had a one year old little girl and how awful it would be to lose a child. It was just me and him and Skyla in the store. So I shared with him some things I had learned about the lack of funding for childhood cancer and told him about gold being the color of childhood cancer awareness and told him about grey being the color of brain tumor awareness. I gave him a ICBYC card and he said that he would definitely check out their website. I also told him about the first annual Hawk Smith walk for a Cure in Lebanon, Tn on May 1, 2010.
At 4:00, Mike, I, Skyla, Wanda and Warren went to Leah's parents (Dennis and Jackie Holt) house for the rehearsal. Our son, Chris and his wife, Wanda were there and a lot of Leah's family. Leah's attendant was her best friend, Stephanie and Jamie's best man was his brother, Chris. It was a fall wedding so Skyla dropped fall leaves out of a basket. So when we would call her the flower girl, she would correct us and say that she was the leaf girl....CUTE!!!...
At 7:00 PM, we all went to Stan's BBQ restaurant for the rehearsal dinner. Mike and I treated about 25 family and friends to dinner. We had a great time with each of our families getting to know each better. I love Leah's family. They all are so loving, a lot of fun and very friendly. And we all have a lot in common with each other. And most of all they love my son very much. But, of course, they should. He is a very lovable young man. And now he is their son-in-law. And we love Leah very much and now she is our daughter-in-law.
Sat. Oct. 10, 2009...We got up and Wanda, Warren, Chris and Wanda all came to our room and then they and Mike went to breadfast. Skyla was still asleep, so I stayed with her. They brought me something back. Wanda (my sister) and Wanda (my daughter-in-law) and I went to the Dollar Tree and I bought 31 hellium balloons to send up to Hawk after the wedding. We came back and all of us got ready for the wedding. It was a beautiful country wedding. It was at Leah's mom and dad's (Jackie and Dennis Holt) house out in the country. They have a BEAUTIFUL country home on 20 acres. It was a Fall wedding. Very casual. Leah told me and her mother to wear blue jeans, so we did. Leah wore a beautiful wedding gown, Skyla was dressed in a beautiful long white dress with lace socks and a pretty white bow in her hair. She threw leaves out of a basket. As the wedding started, Jamie gave me a rose and kissed me and Leah gave Jackie a rose and kissed her. Dennis gave Leah away and then Leah and Jamie said their vows.
After the wedding there were a lot pictures being taken. A friend of the family (who is a professional photographer) was taking the pictures. He took a lot of picture and stayed til late in the night taking pictures.
After that, we all went to the back of the house and let balloons go for Hawk. Jamie and Leah and Skyla held a red heart shaped balloon. The rest of us held assorted colors...grey for brain tumor awareness, white heart shaped and blue heart shaped. There were 30 of these balloons. Some couples shared one. All of the children had a balloon. Leah asked me to say something. I said that Jamie, Leah and Skyla were holding the heart shaped balloon together as the beginning of their new family. That we were letting balloons go in memory of Hawk. That he was with us on this day and every day. Jamie, Leah and Skyla let their red balloon go first. Then we all let ours go. We all said..."We love you Hawk." The red balloon went up first. The other balloons made a circle around the red balloon. At one point, the red balloon turned over and the balloon was facing down toward us as the other balloons circled it. They went all the way out of sight with the red balloon going first and the rest in a circle around it. It was beautiful. Several came up to me and said that that was a wonderful thing to do. Our family was used to letting balloons go for Hawk, but that was the first time that Leah's family had let balloons go for Hawk. They all thought it was so special. Hawk is a part of their family now. There were some tears shed...the ones I noticed were Jamie, Mike, Mike's brother Sammie and our neice, Heather and I know some more that I didn't see.
After that we all talked awhile and then Jamie read a poem that he wrote thanking everyone for coming. It was nice and funny. Then we all ate. They served a country meal. Jamie smoked some boston butts all night and then pulled them apart and barbequed them. The barbeque was delicious. Leah's uncle Johnny cooked white beans in a huge iron pot over an open fire all day. And we had stewed potatoes, homemade slaw, cornbread, onions and relish and jalepenos for the beans. Delicious!!! There was a bottle of champaigne at each table. There were tubs of iced down cold drinks, water, beer, and wine. While we were eating, a woman and man who work with Leah played guitars and sang and entertained us.
Then Jamie and Leah had the first dance. They chose..I Cross My Heart..by George Strait. Beautiful song. Leah's brother, Denny, was the DJ. Saturday was also our granddaughter, Breanna's 9th birthday. Leah surprised with her own individual cake that Leah's sister, Tonya baked. Leah put 9 candles on the cake and we all sang Happy Birthday to Breanna. That was very nice of Leah and her family. Jamie and Leah cut their wedding cake. Tonya (Leah's sister) baked a pumpkin cake, an apple cake and a chocolate cake. They were delicious. Then Denny started the music and some of us danced. The guys had built a huge bonfire in the back of the house and some of them went back there. Some of Jamie and Leah's friends were camping back there. We had so much fun. We danced and kareoked. We had a ball. Eventually, most of the ones at the campfire joined the rest of us. Leah's family are so much fun.
Our granddaughter Kayla, 15 and Leah's step-neice, Katie, 15 sang to some Taylor Swift songs and some Trisha Yearwood songs..."You belong with me" and She's In Love With The boy" and some more. Jackie (Leah's mom) kareoked with some country songs. I sang to Tina Turner...."Simply the Best" and " Better Be Good To Me". Jackie and I sang to an Elvis Presley song. Jackie, her sister-in-law, Debbie and her neice and I sang "Crazy" by Patsy Cline. Jackie's brother, Barry sang to "Feel Like Making Love", as Jamie and Leah were leaving. Mike sang to George Strait "Amarillo By Morning", "If You're Looking For A Stranger" and "You Look So Good In Love" and "The Dance" by Garth Brooke. Mike has a beautiful voice and sings just like George Strait. And Skyla sang by herself..."Jesus Loves Me" and "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". I never sat down for 4 hours. I danced and sang and enjoyed everyone else dancing and singing and had a ball.
Jamie and Leah left before the rest of us. They went to Pigeon Forge Saturday night and then left Sunday morning for a week in Panama City.
Leah's family is great. All of them. We all have so much in common. We are so blessed with all of our daughters-in-law's families. We spend time with all of them. We do a lot with Wanda (our daughter-in-law)'s family, we are close to Tuesday (our daughter-in-law)'s family. In fact, Jamie and Leah are going to visit with them while they are in Panama City this week. And I know we'll be close to Leah's family. We are a blessed family.
Friday Oct. 9, 2009....We got up and joined Wanda and Warren for breakfast. After breakfast, we all went to the Davy Crockett Birthplace State Park. It was interesting to read about him and see the replica of the cabin that he was born in. After he married, he moved to Lawrence County (the county Mike and I are from). There is a Davy Crockett State Park in Lawrenceburg Tn also.
We left the park and drove to Jonesboro..the oldest town in Tennessee. It is a beautiful town. All of the old buildings have been turned into shops and restaurants. We went into a candy store. The young man who was working in there asked me where we were from. I told him and told him why we were in that area. That our son was getting married. I had Skyla with me and I told him that her daddy was the one getting married. And I told him about Hawk. He wanted to know all about Hawk's illness and said that he had a one year old little girl and how awful it would be to lose a child. It was just me and him and Skyla in the store. So I shared with him some things I had learned about the lack of funding for childhood cancer and told him about gold being the color of childhood cancer awareness and told him about grey being the color of brain tumor awareness. I gave him a ICBYC card and he said that he would definitely check out their website. I also told him about the first annual Hawk Smith walk for a Cure in Lebanon, Tn on May 1, 2010.
At 4:00, Mike, I, Skyla, Wanda and Warren went to Leah's parents (Dennis and Jackie Holt) house for the rehearsal. Our son, Chris and his wife, Wanda were there and a lot of Leah's family. Leah's attendant was her best friend, Stephanie and Jamie's best man was his brother, Chris. It was a fall wedding so Skyla dropped fall leaves out of a basket. So when we would call her the flower girl, she would correct us and say that she was the leaf girl....CUTE!!!...
At 7:00 PM, we all went to Stan's BBQ restaurant for the rehearsal dinner. Mike and I treated about 25 family and friends to dinner. We had a great time with each of our families getting to know each better. I love Leah's family. They all are so loving, a lot of fun and very friendly. And we all have a lot in common with each other. And most of all they love my son very much. But, of course, they should. He is a very lovable young man. And now he is their son-in-law. And we love Leah very much and now she is our daughter-in-law.
Sat. Oct. 10, 2009...We got up and Wanda, Warren, Chris and Wanda all came to our room and then they and Mike went to breadfast. Skyla was still asleep, so I stayed with her. They brought me something back. Wanda (my sister) and Wanda (my daughter-in-law) and I went to the Dollar Tree and I bought 31 hellium balloons to send up to Hawk after the wedding. We came back and all of us got ready for the wedding. It was a beautiful country wedding. It was at Leah's mom and dad's (Jackie and Dennis Holt) house out in the country. They have a BEAUTIFUL country home on 20 acres. It was a Fall wedding. Very casual. Leah told me and her mother to wear blue jeans, so we did. Leah wore a beautiful wedding gown, Skyla was dressed in a beautiful long white dress with lace socks and a pretty white bow in her hair. She threw leaves out of a basket. As the wedding started, Jamie gave me a rose and kissed me and Leah gave Jackie a rose and kissed her. Dennis gave Leah away and then Leah and Jamie said their vows.
After the wedding there were a lot pictures being taken. A friend of the family (who is a professional photographer) was taking the pictures. He took a lot of picture and stayed til late in the night taking pictures.
After that, we all went to the back of the house and let balloons go for Hawk. Jamie and Leah and Skyla held a red heart shaped balloon. The rest of us held assorted colors...grey for brain tumor awareness, white heart shaped and blue heart shaped. There were 30 of these balloons. Some couples shared one. All of the children had a balloon. Leah asked me to say something. I said that Jamie, Leah and Skyla were holding the heart shaped balloon together as the beginning of their new family. That we were letting balloons go in memory of Hawk. That he was with us on this day and every day. Jamie, Leah and Skyla let their red balloon go first. Then we all let ours go. We all said..."We love you Hawk." The red balloon went up first. The other balloons made a circle around the red balloon. At one point, the red balloon turned over and the balloon was facing down toward us as the other balloons circled it. They went all the way out of sight with the red balloon going first and the rest in a circle around it. It was beautiful. Several came up to me and said that that was a wonderful thing to do. Our family was used to letting balloons go for Hawk, but that was the first time that Leah's family had let balloons go for Hawk. They all thought it was so special. Hawk is a part of their family now. There were some tears shed...the ones I noticed were Jamie, Mike, Mike's brother Sammie and our neice, Heather and I know some more that I didn't see.
After that we all talked awhile and then Jamie read a poem that he wrote thanking everyone for coming. It was nice and funny. Then we all ate. They served a country meal. Jamie smoked some boston butts all night and then pulled them apart and barbequed them. The barbeque was delicious. Leah's uncle Johnny cooked white beans in a huge iron pot over an open fire all day. And we had stewed potatoes, homemade slaw, cornbread, onions and relish and jalepenos for the beans. Delicious!!! There was a bottle of champaigne at each table. There were tubs of iced down cold drinks, water, beer, and wine. While we were eating, a woman and man who work with Leah played guitars and sang and entertained us.
Then Jamie and Leah had the first dance. They chose..I Cross My Heart..by George Strait. Beautiful song. Leah's brother, Denny, was the DJ. Saturday was also our granddaughter, Breanna's 9th birthday. Leah surprised with her own individual cake that Leah's sister, Tonya baked. Leah put 9 candles on the cake and we all sang Happy Birthday to Breanna. That was very nice of Leah and her family. Jamie and Leah cut their wedding cake. Tonya (Leah's sister) baked a pumpkin cake, an apple cake and a chocolate cake. They were delicious. Then Denny started the music and some of us danced. The guys had built a huge bonfire in the back of the house and some of them went back there. Some of Jamie and Leah's friends were camping back there. We had so much fun. We danced and kareoked. We had a ball. Eventually, most of the ones at the campfire joined the rest of us. Leah's family are so much fun.
Our granddaughter Kayla, 15 and Leah's step-neice, Katie, 15 sang to some Taylor Swift songs and some Trisha Yearwood songs..."You belong with me" and She's In Love With The boy" and some more. Jackie (Leah's mom) kareoked with some country songs. I sang to Tina Turner...."Simply the Best" and " Better Be Good To Me". Jackie and I sang to an Elvis Presley song. Jackie, her sister-in-law, Debbie and her neice and I sang "Crazy" by Patsy Cline. Jackie's brother, Barry sang to "Feel Like Making Love", as Jamie and Leah were leaving. Mike sang to George Strait "Amarillo By Morning", "If You're Looking For A Stranger" and "You Look So Good In Love" and "The Dance" by Garth Brooke. Mike has a beautiful voice and sings just like George Strait. And Skyla sang by herself..."Jesus Loves Me" and "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". I never sat down for 4 hours. I danced and sang and enjoyed everyone else dancing and singing and had a ball.
Jamie and Leah left before the rest of us. They went to Pigeon Forge Saturday night and then left Sunday morning for a week in Panama City.
Leah's family is great. All of them. We all have so much in common. We are so blessed with all of our daughters-in-law's families. We spend time with all of them. We do a lot with Wanda (our daughter-in-law)'s family, we are close to Tuesday (our daughter-in-law)'s family. In fact, Jamie and Leah are going to visit with them while they are in Panama City this week. And I know we'll be close to Leah's family. We are a blessed family.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
First of all...I love you Hawk and Miss you everyday..that will never change.Here is a link for Chili's restaurant...dine at Chili's tomorrow and all proceeds goes to St. Jude's Hospital...
http://www.createapepper.com/BigDay.aspx
We are planning the first annual Hawk's Walk for a Cure at Fiddler's Grove, Lebanon, Tn May 1, 2010...www.icouldbeyourchild.org....Increase public awareness of Pediatric Brain Tumors (primarily DIPG) and Childhood Cancer, provide funding for research and to provide support to children and families diagnosed with a PBT.
Although Jamie and Lindy are not actively involved right now, they are very supportive of this. They both have full time jobs, so it is not as easy for them to work on it as is for me to.
Breanna is in 3rd grade. She made honor roll the first 6 weeks. Proud of Breanna. Skyla and Brooke started to kindergarten. Brooke got the most improved the first 6 weeks. Skyla and Brooke miss coming to our house during the week and we miss them coming here. We usually get them on the weekend now. Breanna spent the night on Friday night and then Brooke came last night and Breanna went home with Tuesday and we took Brooke and Skyla to church and now they are here playing.
Our youngest son, Jamie, is getting married on Oct. 10th to Leah Holt. Jamie is happy and more like himself than he's been in awhile. He and Leah started dating in Oct of 2006. We had just found out that Hawk's tumor had started growing again. Leah has been great for Jamie. Hawk loved Leah and she was very good with him and now is a great addition in Skyla's life. She and Jamie are getting married in Greeneville, Tn at her parent's house. We are all looking forward to the wedding.
Saturday, May 09, 2009
I miss you, Hawk. I miss you a lot. I miss your beautiful smile, your joyous infectious laughter. We got tickled just watching you laugh. I miss telling you bedtime stories. The three little pigs and the three bears. It wasn't Goldilocks and the three bears--it was Hawk and most of his family going to the 3 bears house. He would name all of the people he wanted the story to be about. It usually included most of his family. I miss your incredible energy and your enthusiasm for life. The love you had for everyone. When I would come to daycare to get you and you would be at the end of hall and you would see me. You would have a huge smile on your face and your would yell "nannie" as loud as you could and run to me. And if you had just seen me the day before, you would do this. Thank you, Hawk for all of the incredible LOVE and memories you left us. You have no idea how precious you were to our family. Today we watched movies of you taken the last week you were here. It was the first time we have watched them. Pa Pa and I cried. We love and miss you so much. I would love to hold you again, to hear you say, "I love you, nannie" again, to watch you run and laugh and play with your little sister. Skyla doesn't talk about you very much now, she was too little to remember you. But I tell her about you all of the time. I hate it that she and Brooke won't remember you. Breanna misses you so much. She talks about you all of the time. Both of you were so close. I know you know this, but Breanna and Brooke send balloons to you all of the time.
I'm posting about the other precious children who have or have had DIPG and other cancer and it is bringing so many painful memories of going through it with Hawk. It will never go away. There will never be a day that we won't miss you, our precious little grandson.
We love you Hawk. It was not in our power to keep you here, but it was in our power to love you and cherish you and to cherish your memory.
We will always love you and miss you, our precious little grandson.
Friday, February 13, 2009
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