JAMES HAWK SMITH

For several weeks our family had noticed that Hawk was holding his head sideways while looking at anything. Then we started to notice that he was dragging his left foot while walking. He looked like someone who had had a stroke. His whole left side seemed to be affected.

On Monday, Dec. 12, 2005, I called Lindy and told her if she would get an appointment for Hawk that I would take him to his doctor, Dr. Steger. She got the appointment for Dec. 14th. I called Jamie and told him and he decided to go with me. Ken (his other grandpa) called and asked if he could go also. Ken took Hawk and Jamie and I met him at the doctors office. Dr. Steger watched Hawk walk and checked his eyes, he could not move his right eye to the right. She told us that he had probably either had a stroke or had a mass in the brain or on the spinal cord. She immediately called Vanderbilt Children's Hospital and we all drove down there together--Ken, Jamie, Hawk and I. Lindy had picked up Skyla and taken her to our house. In the meantime Hawk had had a CT scan. The resident came in and told Ken, Jamie and I that Hawk definitely had a large mass in his brain, and informed us that they would be doing an MRI the next morning.

Lindy and Mimi Barbara arrived. Pa Pa Mike stayed at home and kept Skyla. Everyone was in shock and very upset with the news we already had. Jamie and Lindy stayed with Hawk that night and the rest of us went home.


On DECEMBER 15TH, 2005, Nanna Gwen took Skyla to daycare and then went to the hospital. Pa Ken, Mimi Barbara, Jamie, and Lindy were there. We were waiting for the MRI to be done and what course of action would be taken. .

Dr Steger came in to see Hawk. She was very nice. She went around the room and hugged all of us. Jim Andrews came by to see Hawk. Hawk's great-grandmother, Cathy Waddle and her husband, Derald Waddle came in to see Hawk. Pa Pa Mike came after work, around 2:00 p.m. Hawks Aunt Tuesday and cousins Breanna and Brooke came in. This really cheered Hawk up. They had a huge bouquet of balloons and a big basket full of things for Hawk and Jamie and Lindy. There were a lot of tears shed that day, we didn't know exactly what was going on, but we knew that it was not good. Our preacher, Larry Locke and Frank Dudley came in to see Hawk. Pa Ken and Mimi Barbara had to leave to pick Skyla up from daycare. Everyone else left except for Mike, and I, Jamie, Lindy, Larry and Frank Dudley. We were still waiting for the results of the MRI. All during this day, they had been putting IV's in Hawk and taking vital signs and taking him for tests, etc. In between all of this, he always wanted to go to the first floor and see the train. Once, when one of the nurses came into the room, Hawk looked at her and said" Don't you come in here messing with me anymore." I guess he had had it with all of the IV's, test, etc. All of it was pretty traumatic for him.

Finally, Dr. Kuttesch came in and asked Jamie and Lindy to step into another room with him. I asked if I could go and they said that it was okay. Mike and Larry stayed in the room with Hawk. They played a board game (Candyland) with him.

Dr. Kuttesch sat there and quietly and calmly told us what the results were. He said that Hawk had a tumor in his brain stem. It is called Pontine Glioma. It is very rare and very malignant. Surgery could not be done because of where it was located, in the Pons area of the brain stem. This tumor does not respond very well to chemotherapy. The only treatment is radiation and steroids. He told us that 95% of the children do not live two years and that the other 5% live to two years. None of us expected to hear this kind of news.

Jamie went back into the room to be with Hawk. Lindy was having a hard time and felt like she needed to go outside for some fresh air for awhile.
I called Mike out into the hall. Larry and Frank Dudley came out there also. I told Mike what we had been told. Larry went into the quiet room with us and had a prayer with us.

I called Ken and Barbara to let them know what the news was. I called Tuesday and told her. She called Kevin, he was at work, I called Chris and Wanda, I called Hawk's great-grandparents and his great-aunts and uncles. There were a lot of tears shed that night and a lot of them since. Ken decided to come back to the hospital. Mike and I stayed until after dark, then we left. Mike had to work the next day. As we were leaving, we met our son, Chris and his wife Wanda coming in to see Hawk. Naturally, Jamie and Lindy were not leaving Hawk, so they stayed again that night.

DECEMBER 16th, 2005

That day they put the portacathe in Hawks's chest in order to administer the anesthesia. He was to be put asleep each time he was given a radiation treatment.

Hawk had told Mike that when he was released from the hospital that he wanted to come to our house to spend the night, it was very late by the time he was released. Lindy decided to spend the night at our house also to be with Hawk. And Jamie stayed also.

Sat. December 18th

We went to Kevin and Tuesday's house for our Christmas party together.
Mike and I, Kevin and Tuesday, Breanna, and Brooke, Jamie,Chris and Wanda and their grandbabies, Caleb, McKenzie, and Jenna. Jamie and Lindy decided that it might be too much for Hawk, so he and Skyla didn't go. A friend of Kevin and Tuesday's, Junior Nesbitt, came by and prayed with us. He said the most beautiful prayer for Hawk.

Monday December 19th
Hawk started his radiation treatments. He seemed to do well with the treatments. He had been on the steroids since Dec. 14. By the end of the week, we could see a big difference in him.

December 25, 2005

Skyla and Hawk had Christmas with the McPeaks on december 24, so Jamie got them early Christmas morning and came to our house. After only one week of treatments, the difference in Hawk was huge. Naturally, all of the family wanted to love on him and talk to him, but his mood had already started to change. He really felt bad. He cried a lot that day. He only wanted Mike or Jamie or I to hold him that day.
Mike always plays Santa Clause on Christmas Day. He puts a pillow under the santa suit and wears a santa wig and beard, so the children don't recognize him. The last two Christmas's Hawk really enjoyed this, but this Christmas he was feeling so bad, that he just sat in Jamie's lap and cried.
Breanna really liked Santa. She told Santa that he was getting too fat, so she had left him an apple and juice under her tree. Brooke was clinging to Aunt Wanda and Skyla was clinging to Uncle Chris. But then Santa gave all of them a flashlight and they all (including Hawk) liked Santa after that. Even little Skyla and Brooke went to Santa to get the flashlights.